She gave her heart away to boys that didn't love her,
She shared her magical glow with people that didn't deserve it
with people that didn't matter,
She kissed their pain away to hide her bleeding heart
She pretended to be fascinated by their shallow talks that left her hollow and dull,
She settled for a spot in the dark abyss when she deserved her own paradise,
Just because she was afraid,
Afraid to let herself feel again.
Deep down she knew why the fear manifested itself so greatly
that it chocked her, making her immobile
And it didn't matter how many mantra's she recited
The chaos of her mind always found a way to rattle her
How unjustifiable that her own self was her worst enemy
And it didn't matter how much she wrapped her heart in steel
Blanketing herself with people's affections
Her mind couldn't stop thinking about him,
About how their hands met on that fateful Sunday
How his smile was one of the most beautiful things,
He was like a breath of fresh air in her cycle of toxic life
For the first time in a long time she felt something
The baggage that weighed her down suddenly felt lighter
But why couldn't she just accept the love?
Why couldn't she just sit back and let love in?
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