Forgive me if I don't smile
Forgive me if I don't laugh at your jokes
I'm sorry if I don't listen sometimes
My mind is a constant whirlwind
Filled with pain and regrets
Every time I remember all the atrocities I've committed
I don't find any peace
That's why at 1am I'm awake
Crying and watching the sky
I'm always thinking about her
You don't know her
Because I ripped her away
I didn't let you meet her
And as I hold my tummy
It's like I feel her kicking
At night I feel her cries
And when you say you love me
I break a little more because I don't deserve your love
I don't want you to love me
I want you to look at me and hate me
Maybe then it will satisfy the demons in mind
That keeps jabbing hateful words
I'm sorry I can't hold to this anymore.
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